
Friday, 21 July 2023
The Soviet-Era Ribs Records I found In My Grandparents' House

Thursday, 18 May 2023
Mother's Day 2023
Sunday, 26 March 2023
Comfy Close
Saturday, 18 March 2023
Poppy Pockets
Spring's almost here :')
I bought some poppies from our local flower seller, which is attached to a 99¢ store.
Jevins' beloved cousin Sai made this vase and gave it to me for my birthday last year. It's my favorite thing to put a few small blooms in every once in a while. I love the way that poppies dance and turn with their carrot-y leaves.
Tuesday, 21 February 2023
The Safety Blanket
Saturday, 18 February 2023
The Story of Our Reunion
On October 18th, 2022 I got a phone call from an emergency psychiatric hospital in Buffalo. The social worker on the other end told me that my mom had been admitted to the hospital, and they were desperately trying to reach anyone who could help them understand where this woman who shared my last name was coming from. After 10 years of estrangement through circumstance, I finally heard my mom’s voice again. She had never kept a phone and was lost in the throes of debilitating psychosis for so long. I was unable to see her for years. This time though, her memory prevailed and she was able to remember my phone number to share with the case workers.Maybe it’s oversharing, but the story of my reunion with my mom has been one of the most harrowing and important developments in my adult life. Between her hospital discharge and today, I managed to get my mom a cell phone and she has been able to slowly figure it out. It feels like a miracle. She’s amazed and delighted by the ability to send text messages and the chance to keep a tiny camera in her pocket.
I wasn't sure I’d see the day where she would be able to regain and maintain the lucidity I had been grieving was lost for so many years. Her bravery, dignity and joie de vivre is so moving it brings me to tears. She explains she’s an optimist because she “was born in the spring”. On May 10th, heavens willing, we will celebrate her 68th birthday, at last, together.
Saturday, 3 September 2022
Catching Up: Wears/Wares
Observe: 2 years-worth of catching up on the stuff I fill our apartment with and a couple amusing outfits.
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Here are some wares\wears
Rachel Comey made these fishnet flared "pants". I wear them under dresses often, especially in the summer months when I wanna wear something that feels fall-adjacent. Here I paired 'em with a Theyskens' Theory dress that I have own two colors. I will continue to explain: I was obsessed with Theyskens' Theory in college. Olivier Theyskens produced these über cool and practical city girl-friendly collections and I thought everything he made while there was practical and just so very sleek. This dress is actually two pieces: an a-line shift with a whispy/smoky chiffon overlay, PLUS it has a hidden hoodie pocket!! I mean!!!
Sunday, 24 July 2022
I'm Tired, So Wanna Pick Up Again
I used to type "b" into my browser address field and it would bring up the blogger homepage that I stubbornly keep this thing hosted on. Because in my heart I'm still 15 and this is still 2009 and I'm futzing around the attic with hot lights for some stupid reason to help me pretend I know how to take a photo and set up a camera. Instead I check I with myself, and it's not the streets of Buffalo, New York outside my window anymore, where it smells like fireplaces and crispy, cold air. My world doesn't feel small and hopeful, or nearly as romantic as it did when I was a teenager. This happens to everyone, but y'know, now I'm writing about it.
I'm 30 now. I turned 30 this year. I have a life I had no idea how I would "get to" as a teenager. I pay bills and work a job that is way beyond what I could have comprehended as a child and humbles me every week (understatement). I question myself and I'm just as hard on myself now as when I was looking down the barrel of taking the regents exam. I wonder if making money is satisfying enough. I have family members who have died now who I thought would live forever.
I'm a dime a dozen now, which I guess is its own comfort. Here's my check-in: I work in tech, I'm naive but creative, I'm satisfied by a sense of purpose and "fit" but I kinda lost my way. Still, I love trying to understand style anywhere I can, I like talking about why people want to express themselves a certain way. I love what Omondi's doing, her work is the closest thing I have to the feeling I would get after seeing someone shared a new blog post.
Instagram sucks, I hate TikTok, though I dig Tumblr and Pinterest where I can still fall down holes and remain a dinosaur of internet culture comfortably. I miss magazines. I miss the feeling of waiting. I waited. If you are still reading this and had been in a position of waiting, welcome back. I hope I can satisfy.












































